THE DARKNESS OF THE DISEASE
The Day I Met Addiction – Amy Daeschel
Hello Amy, my name is addiction,
So nice to meet you I cause affliction!
Do not be afraid, I like to start slow,
this is our little secret, nobody will know.
You might not know it yet, but now we are a team,
I take pride showing you things, that you have never seen!
Now that we've begun, I am the only one in sight,
I will weed everybody out, no more friends, I win the fight.
My powers undeniable, open your eyes, can't you see?
You crave me every moment, I own you, you can't break free!
I am your puppet master, I make you beg steal and lie,
you will listen to what I tell you, you'll do anything for that high!
We will walk this path together, I will be right by your side,
you will submit to my every order, and yes, I'll even take your pride.
Now it's just you and me all alone and in despair,
I will dose you up so high, you will not feel or even care.
You keep coming back to me, every night, morning, and day,
and if you want more of what I’ve got, (chuckles) you'll do just what I say!
Look at you now, how pathetic, running around with no remorse,
all it took was just that one small hit, to knock you right off course!
I have carried you to this point, it's now your turn, now don’t delay,
no morals, faith, or integrity will take care of your next drug hits pay.
Ha ha, how quickly you progress, into incompetence,
look at your family and friends now, full of their judgements!
I look at you laying on a side of a bridge, in your battered down fate,
wounds on your arms, snow falling on your face.
You lay with only one blanket on the cold unforgiving ground,
as the cars on the freeway are your only surrounding sound.
Your fingers are frozen as you fumble for your sleeve,
knowing that the only thing that will save you, is to shoot up that reprieve.
The wind is unforgiving as it chills up and down your spine,
as that needle fills up with blood, ha ha now I know that you are mine.
You lay amongst the garbage, in the dirt and in the shame,
you grab a pile of papers and you light up a small flame.
Don’t you like the life I have shown you? Now you realize your alone,
I’ve taken all your pain, just be grateful and accept your new found home.
How pathetic you look, you misguided soul,
my last name is shameless, I just thought you should know!
I control you, I'm your master, and if you think you can betray,
just try one day without me, and in that bed, you'll lay all day!
I have become your everything, and by this time you should know,
you wanted all my friendship, and for that you sold your soul!
You walked away from loved ones without a care or concern to show,
you lost everything, you’re nothing, I guess what you reap is what you sew!
You’re homeless, you have nothing, look at you, sleeping on the street.
You’re defeated, just surrender, and watch this needle go way down deep!
It's all in my timing, 7 times in jail is a charm,
I see that you have lost yourself into my open broken arms!
You want to know my power? Just ask the CDC,
750,000 lives have come to follow me.
With eyes wide shut, is when I think you look your best,
I am the one to guide you there, now come lay up on this chest.
I did it, my plan worked; you must wonder what comes next?
You are nothing, a zero, now just accept your sweet death!
References
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (n.d.). The Drug Overdose Epidemic: Behind the Numbers. Www.Cdc.Gov. Retrieved September 16, 2020, from https://www.cdc.gov/drugoverdose/data/index.html
REFLECTION
This poem is a powerful reflection into my darkness of addiction. I found it to have more of an impact speaking from the view of addiction. Too often we stigmatize individuals lost in addiction. If you have not lived through it, you will not understand how much of a hold it takes on your soul. I wrote this poem to reflect who was in control, and how easily you submit to the disease. Everyone knows pain, everyone can relate to despair; this is the power of others sharing their voice.
One strategy I wanted to portray was how innocent addiction appears to introduce itself into your life. I portrayed it as an initial friend who is there in your time of need. If you speak to anyone who has struggled with substance use disorder they will tell you that the drug is a side effect. The substance is a coping mechanism for something much deeper. We are raised in a society that promotes the mask, continuously telling you to not show weakness. I use the line “this is our little secret; nobody will know” this line reflects the hidden pain that we cover up with using substances.
My goal is to impact the reader to just how quickly addiction will turn on you, reflecting how powerful and sinister it manifests. I added a few lines to reflect the visual of the scene. I was literally on the streets in the winter, on the side of a bridge with nothing but a blanket and my substances. It is unbelievable I survived through such harsh conditions. My hope in this poem is to help others understand the darkness of addiction. If we can educate others on the power of this disease, then maybe we can create change in how we address this epidemic.